Confidence – Is it something you always have to work on?

confidence, selfie
confidence, selfie

Confidence issues are shit, right?

For as long as I can think back, I have always struggled with my confidence. Whether that’s in my appearance, my abilities or skills, friendships or my memory. You name it, I’ve had issues with it.

I was never a confident child. I mean I probably was as a toddler, but the minute I started school, it all changed. Insert twelve-ish years of unsteady friendships, bullying, puberty and lack of boobs when I hit puberty, having glasses and braces, being a tomboy etc. My confidence has always dipped and spiked, never remaining a constant and I think it totally depends on my mindset and what’s going on around me.

When I was in high school my confidence plummeted when a boy I kinda liked at the time was asking me questions about one of my ‘friends’ because he liked her instead. Then when she turned him down, he blamed me and spread a nasty rumour around the school that I was gay. In hindsight, this shouldn’t have bothered me because girls are awesome, but at the time, this was a big deal to me.

So, yeah.. Boys are dicks. (nothing new there)

Fast forward almost ten years since leaving school and I still have the same issues I did back then and I’m pretty sure I always will. Of course I’m less concerned with being bullied or fancying boys, it’s mostly just a lack of confidence overall.

My confidence tends to dip when I’m having bad mental health days. Most days I can do things normally without taking a hit, but other days when I’m feeling particularly sensitive, something will happen and then that’s it, I’ve regressed back to a teen, hating everything about myself.

confidence, quote, you got this, notebook, phone, glasses, challenge

I find it difficult to come back from these feelings of ‘I look like shit’, ‘I’ve done that really badly’ etc and continue as normal. So I’ve come up with a few ways I overcome those internal thoughts and work on my confidence whenever it starts to act up.

analyse where the thoughts are coming from
The first thing I do is try to understand where the thoughts are originating from. If they’re coming from a logical thought process of a task I have genuinely done wrong, then yeah, I’ll fix it. But if the thoughts are coming from past experiences or opinions when I’ve also felt a bit sensitive, then I try to push past and ignore them, it’s just my brain shouting doubt at me for no reason. What’s happened, has happened, there’s no reason for it to hold any future power over you.

understand you’re being too hard on yourself and stop
Sometimes it can as simple are realising that you’re being too hard on yourself. You probably look amazing in exactly what you’re wearing, you just think it looks weird. Your make up looks awesome! No, you don’t look chunky in jeans. You’re doing everything as it’s supposed to be done at this moment in time. Give yourself a break.

finally, fake it til you make it
The biggest thing I’ve found to work on my confidence comes from literally faking it. I’ve found that faking confidence really helps boost the little confidence that I actually do have. Telling myself that I look and feel great or that I’m having a good day can make me genuinely feel as close to 100% as I can. So fake it til you make it!

I definitely think confidence is something I’m always going to have to work on and nurture. It’s something that’s going to either propel me forward or hold me back and I’d prefer nothing to hold me back that I can change myself!

Do you think confidence is something you’ve got in the bag or do you work on it?

Follow:
Share:

Learning to let go of plans

Learning to let go of plans

I am a planner. I like to plan things out and know what’s happening, that way if things go awry I can get it sorted quickly. I haven’t always been like this, it’s something I’ve had to learn over the last four/five years or so and it just makes life…

View Post

The past few months, blogging & updates

The past few months, blogging & updates

Okay, so I let two months go past without blogging again. Well, almost two months, but still. Things have been so hectic and genuinely busy that I haven’t even been reading or commenting on blogs never mind blogging myself. I know it’s bad when I don’t even read my favourites…

View Post

What I’ve learned being Vegetarian – One year on

What I’ve learned being Vegetarian – One year on

I made the decision to go vegetarian on March 17th of 2017 and I think it was absolutely one of the easiest decisions I’ve ever made. The decision didn’t come from some great, life-changing event, I was just sitting at my desk one day when I made my mind up.…

View Post

Why is everyone so interested in when I’m getting married and having babies?

Why is everyone so interested in when I’m getting married and having babies?

Like so many other people in a long term relationship, I’ve been asked this question countless times over – So, when are you getting married? More often than not the people that are asking me this question are doing so with big smiling faces who are genuinely eager to find…

View Post

Where I’ve been for the last two weeks

Where I’ve been for the last two weeks

Oh hey, get ready for a diary type post. These are my favourite types of posts to read on other people’s blogs, so I figured I’d start doing them more on here as well. As of right now I’m currently just out a three hour long bath (seriously) because I’m…

View Post

Getting organised with my finances

Getting organised with my finances

Let’s be real for a minute here and start by saying that talking about money is boring. Literally, so boring. I don’t know anyone who enjoys talking about their finances without a pre-moan about how skint they are currently. Although, that could just be that my close circle of friends…

View Post

February goals and milestones

February goals and milestones

January is done and gone, thank goodness! I seriously felt like it lasted about 97 days long, coupled with all the snow, sleet, rain and days upon days in a row with no sunlight I’m happy to finally say hello to February. With a new month brings new goals and…

View Post

A little life update

A little life update

I feel like these types of posts end up being just a list of everything that’s going wrong in my life right now and I become all moany and stuff. So I’ve decided to list five good things going on as a sort of mini-update. I feel like this way…

View Post
browse my favourites
Initial Card Holder
Initial Card Holder
Cat Ring Holder
Cat Ring Holder
Cat Trinket Dish
Cat Trinket Dish
The Multi-Hyphen Method
The Multi-Hyphen Method
Cat Mug
Cat Mug
Fjallraven Kanken
Fjallraven Kanken
Tombow Fudenosuke Brush Pen
Tombow Fudenosuke Brush Pen
Zebra Mildliners
Zebra Mildliners
Leuchtturm 1917 A5 Dotted
Leuchtturm 1917 A5 Dotted
Initial Card Holder
Initial Card Holder
Cat Ring Holder
Cat Ring Holder
Cat Trinket Dish
Cat Trinket Dish
The Multi-Hyphen Method
The Multi-Hyphen Method
Cat Mug
Cat Mug
Fjallraven Kanken
Fjallraven Kanken
Tombow Fudenosuke Brush Pen
Tombow Fudenosuke Brush Pen
Zebra Mildliners
Zebra Mildliners
Leuchtturm 1917 A5 Dotted
Leuchtturm 1917 A5 Dotted